' Sorry, I
can't meet you today. My helpmate hasn't come,' phoned a
friend of mine. The egalitarian use of the word ' helpmate ' pleased my ears and
gladdened my soul. She didn't say that my servant or, even far
better-sounding, maid hasn't come. This is something we all must learn
while treating our helpmates. ' No one is a servant any
longer,' stated a famous columnist in her social etiquette column in The Reader's Digest a few years back.
In
fact, the very term 'servant' is so demeaning to a person who works at your
place. He/ she's paid for the duties discharged. S/he's not an ' indentured
labourer', who was actually called a 'servant' or even worse, 'a
slave' till Victorian era. The literal meaning of a servant is 'one
who serves.' But mind you, who serves is not at your beck and call. He too
has dignity. I read long back that when General Bewoor was the General of
Indian Army, he heard a Brigadier's wife say in an army party, " My
orderly is not very punctual." Gen Bewoor politely told her that he
was not her 'orderly'.
He was her husband's sahayak(assistant). He was a companion, a
helpmate to her husband and even her husband had no right to talk disparagingly
of him, much less the lady. General drove home his point. Every individual has
a sense of dignity and importance. One could be a sweeper. But he too has
his individuality. In 2007, the panel of lexicographers at Oxford
Dictionary House, London, decided to retain the word 'servant' but stating
that it was a condescending word, if not highly objectionable terms like
'nigger' and 'slave'. We tend to treat those, who work at our place as if
they're gentiles or pariahs. We don't treat them on a par with our
'respectable' friends and guests. 'Naukrani', 'kaamwali',
'mahari' and 'bai' are the terms, we so
nonchalantly use for them.
It's strange that the word mahari is
actually associated with a migrated Maharashtrian community (Mahar) based in Malwa, Mhow
and Indore. This was fallaciously considered to be a socially low
community as its poor women used to work at homes. Dr Bhimrao Ambedkar belonged
to this community and when Rahul Sankrityayan objected to the rampant and
inconsiderate use of the word mahari indicating the associated
social group, people criticised him for being a false sympathiser. He wasn't.
What he objected then is still relevant. Why should we call all maids
'mahari' ? This is not just derogatory,
but highly discriminating as well.
Until we give
utmost respect to work of any kind, we'll continue to treat people on
presumed premises of higher and lower hierarchy. We must change our
attitude towards those who work at our places and treat them as
independent individuals, if not members of our
families.
-----Sumit Paul
